To the Girl with the Failing Body
I know you’re tired. I know it’s not fair.
I know you didn’t ask for this.
I know that every time your alarm goes off, you had just finally fallen asleep.
I know it’s getting harder and harder to smile.
I know you are trying to be strong. I know you are wondering when it’s your turn to be happy. I know you are terrified of eating in public because you never know what your body will
do and what pain will arise.
I know long days at work scare you because your body is working overtime to compensate the organs that are not working and it drains you. I know you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself financially because you don’t want to be a burden to your family. I know that you dream of having a body that supports you and takes care of you instead of attacking all of the healthy cells in your body. I know you have PTSD from all of the times that drs didn't think you would make it.
I know you are afraid of applying to your dream job because you aren’t sure if your body can handle it. I know you say “I’m okay.” With tears in your eyes because you don’t want anyone to worry.
I know you want to act your age and make plans, but you have to live a more spontaneous lifestyle because you never know how your body is going to act. I know people stare at you because you have devices attached to you.
I know you feel broken. I know you just want to be free of it all. I know that you are tired of the testing and the dr appointments. I know that whenever you conquer one failing organ, antibodies start attacking another. I know you cry yourself to sleep.
I know sometimes you just want it all to end.
I know all of these things, because i am that girl.
BUT LISTEN TO ME. Just because your body is failing you, does not mean that GOD is failing you. Always remember that.